It's been two months. And a half. I'm fine, after all. I hope she knows I'm trying. But I know what she will say. I'm not trying hard enough. Try harder. Even if I have to sacrifice everything.
I afraid of this word, sacrifice.

I write something somewhere, somehow I don't feel it real.  I write down my thoughts thinking how people will response it. Then I correct the words, fix things. Still I'm trying to be something cool. It bothers me. I log on to my dA page and strangely, I feel like home. Even though I don't really know anyone here. This place is peaceful.

I'm don't have deep thoughts, I don't know things. Just a common girl with common thoughts. Most of them are questions. Questions that I would never dare to ask, questions that have no answers. There're a mist in my mind. I know the colors, I know the shapes, I know the feelings, but I don't know what they really mean. What are their definitions? Everything is just an abstract, blurred picture, hide behind the mist.

She tells me I should care more about others.

Is that related to the question how I can define myself?


May. Sounds as gentle as a breeze. I should get some flowers.